Today I want to talk to you about social comparison. It sucks, right? You’re plugging along, thinking you’re doing ok, until you see Cathy’s kick-ass vacation, Ben’s beefed-up abs, and Penny’s promotion. It can leave you feeling grossly inadequate.
But here’s the thing: we are built to compare. Evolutionarily, early humans who checked their status against the group (Do I add value? Am I pulling my weight?) didn’t get ousted from their tribes. And those who hunted, gathered, and traveled together had a survival advantage. In other words, those who didn’t measure up and got left behind were more likely to perish.
The fittest who survived engaged in social comparison: We evolved to compare.
So next time you’re feeling less-than because you’re comparing yourself to others try this:
1. Tell yourself you were designed to think this way so your brain is doing its job
2. Observe the story from a distance with a dispassionate curiosity (rather than getting hooked by it as if it’s truth)
3. Connect with your values—who and how you want to be in the world—and make intentional choices based on values rather than comparisons. |